I hate not being included. I know I should be more mature about it, but I have to admit, I get a little hurt when I hear a group of people I am close with are catching up and I haven’t been invited. Knowing how this feels and loving so many friends’ company, I regularly plead guilty to inviting way too many people to dinner or drinks in the hope that I haven’t forgotten anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings. The fact is though, this is not always the best way to treat your friends. Quality vs. quantity is really what we need most of the time.
I have a gorgeous girlfriend who tends to invite almost everyone she knows, even though most of us hardly know each other, almost every time we catch up. It’s a lovely bunch of girls, but by the time 10-20 of us all get in a room, you barely get time to chat with your besties and find out what’s really going on in their lives. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome to meet new people and connect, but with everyone being so time poor these days, it’s important that we have quality time with our nearest and dearest every now and then.
It’s not just old friends that a smaller group works for, but think about how great it is when you sit down to dinner with new friends and you truly get to talk. You learn more about one another in one night than you might for months and, assuming you enjoy one another’s company, you form close and valued friendships quickly.
Here’s some tips to show your friends how valued they are to you;
- For a small group dinner, invite no more than 6 people. Have you noticed that often than 6 causes the conversation to split into two or more groups almost immediately? 6 people can still carry on the same conversation comfortably and each get a chance to contribute.
- Don’t forget how important one-on-one catch ups are. Sometimes it is hard to find time in busy schedules to do this, but when you do, this time should be treasured.
- Don’t assume your friend is fine with you inviting other people along. Make sure you check with them. They may have something private going on in their lives that they want to share with you, or they may simply just want your undivided attention for a small amount of time.
- Remember that we can’t be invited to everything all the time, just like we can’t invite everyone every time!
- Don’t cancel on your friends unless you have a really good reason. Yes, if they are good friends they will still be there for you, but if you are a serial last minute no-show, life’s too short…your friends will find other people that value their time more.
- Call, email or text a nice message after your catch up thanking them for their company. A simple “Thanks for a great walk!” or “It’s always lovely to see you” can truly make someone’s day and make them feel good about themselves.
I would love to hear from you about what is important to you, or ways you like to make your friends feel valued.